it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
