I accidentally had phone sex last night
Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Randomize