I need to stop coming to work sober
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
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