I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
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