there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy