i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
Randomize
