ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
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