Yo dont text me then not text me
Duck Duck Cougar?
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
Randomize
