I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
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