haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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