Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
I feel like abortions should bother me more
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
