Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
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