the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
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