the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
He is such a slut. More and more my type.
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
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