What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Randomize
