omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
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