I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
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