Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
