dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
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