This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
you didnt know i had herpes?
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
