Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
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