I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
Randomize
