Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
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