Well douche your snatch and let's go!
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
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