Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
Randomize
