Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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