You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
Randomize
