i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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