Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Randomize
