I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Randomize
