dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
