Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
Dude, I was completely sober last night, didn't puke on my shoes, went home with an incredibly beautiful girl, wore a condom, and didn't wake up in a puddle of urine this morning.
hah, sarcasm, classic
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
Randomize
