So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
