The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
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