I wish Morgan Freeman narrated my life.
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
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