That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
I have feelings that need drinking.
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
