Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
you had me at cake vodka
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
Randomize