He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
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