Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
