the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
We have so much sex to catch up on
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
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