Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
Randomize
