Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
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