White coat. Heels.
I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
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