I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
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