dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
Randomize
