Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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