Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
Hello my rib-scented angel!
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
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