You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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