so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
Naked Twister starts at high noon
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
Randomize
