Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
you had me at cake vodka
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
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