lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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