North Korea, Best Korea!
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
Randomize
