My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
Randomize
