Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
Randomize
