if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
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