the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
Sext me about skeletons
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
Randomize
