I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
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This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
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