To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
