i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
God gave him joint rollers for hands
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
Randomize